HeckNo Guides
Straight answers about staying safe, each with the research behind it. They come from HeckNo’s lessons, and say only what the sources support.
After a sexual assault: what to do, and what can wait
Nothing has to be decided today; the medical examination is the one part with a clock. What to know about reporting, and what to say if someone tells you.
ConsentConsent in relationships: a soft no is a no
A soft no is a no. Someone asleep or unconscious cannot consent. Pressure, not force, is the usual route, and naming it helps.
LeavingLeaving early: the skill women actually used
Of everything a tested resistance programme teaches, the skills its graduates used most were noticing early and leaving early. Any reason that gets you out is a good reason.
The groundIf you end up on the ground: what the evidence says
Doing something beat doing nothing, by a lot, and pleading did worst. What is known, and what is only taught with confidence, about fighting from the ground.
NoticingWhen it is someone you know: why resisting is harder
Resisting someone you know is harder, and the delay is not cowardice. What actually gets used: noticing early, leaving early and a good excuse.
NoticingWho actually commits sexual assault? Usually someone she knows
A stranger in a car park is the rare case. The usual one is someone she knows, indoors, starting with small tests and a move somewhere quieter.
FreezingWhy people freeze, and why it is not consent
Freezing is the most common reaction to an attack, and it is involuntary. It is not consent and not a failure. What helps comes earlier: noticing, leaving, saying it out loud.
GrabsGrabs and hands on the neck: what everyone should know
Hands on the neck are the clearest warning sign measured, and about half of strangulations leave no marks. What grab releases can and can’t promise.